Ancient Scroll Reveals Roman Theory on what happen to women who are sex starved

Academics have discovered evidence of a very strange theory about female sexuality after deciphering a mysterious scroll which has baffled researchers since the 16th century. The 2000-year-old papyrus features writing on both sides and has stubbornly resisted translation. Now researchers at the University of Basel have found that it’s actually several layers of papyrus stuck together, allowing them to find out that it is actually a treatise on what happens to ladies who are starved of sex.

They discovered the document was probably written by the Roman physician Galen and discusses ‘hysterical apnea’ – a discredited theory which suggests a ‘wandering womb’ causes emotional upheaval as it moves around the body. The effects of this condition were said to be particularly severe in single women who did not enjoy regular romps. ‘This is a sensational discovery,’ said Sabine Huebner, Professor of Ancient History at the University of Basel.

Greek ‘Father of Medicine’ Hippocrates said men need to take swift action if they feared a lady’s lack of sex was driving her to distraction. ‘You should wash her thoroughly with hot water, and if she does not respond, with cold, from her head on down, using cool water in which you have previously boiled laurel and myrtle,’ he wrote in Diseases of Women.